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Friday, September 17, 2010

Finding the Confidence to Return to Work - 6 Tips For Moms

By : Donette Philips

Self-confidence is defined in the dictionary as "freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities".

Although this sounds simple, for many moms wanting to return to work, confidence is a barrier. Lack of self-esteem keeps us from finding work and working to our potential. Here are some tips that will help you to begin your job search with confidence.

You don't have to be "perfect" to begin, just begin.

Think Wiggles. When this children's group started out they only had a cardboard "big red car". They are now one of the wealthiest children's acts in the world and the cardboard car is no more, but they made do with what resources they had and grew from there. If we wait for the situation to be perfect, the time will likely never come to move forward.

Give yourself credit for the skills parenting has provided.

Even though mommy is not a job title that can be put on your resume there are many skills we have developed as "mom" that are worth something. Every experience we have contributes to who we are. We have learned to be patient, learning new things are hard. We have learned to listen and know that silence sometimes means trouble. We have learned delegation or our jobs would never be done. We have learned how to manage diversity. No two people's needs are exactly the same. We have learned flexibility. Nothing ever goes precisely as planned when others are involved and we have learned that "other duties as assigned" are just a part of life.

Take your own advice.

Think about what you teach your children every day and embrace it. "Work hard.", "Keep trying.", "You can be anything you want to be.", "Everyone has a gift, it's just a matter of finding it.", "Don't quit because it's hard. New things take effort."

If you believe these things to be true, what's stopping you? You wouldn't let your child's inhibitions stand in their way. Why let yours? Set the example for your children.

Set goals for yourself that will be acknowledged by others.

This is not as self serving as it sounds. As mom's we know that our children's self esteem and motivation revolves around feeling of achievement. We go to great lengths to ensure success no matter how small the acknowledgement (like M&M's for using the potty or allowance for a clean room). If we know that an achievement fuels the desire for success, how are we fulfilling our own need for achievement? Set small goals for yourself that will be recognized by others outside of your home. Let's face it. We love our families but there is little recognition from them. I can't remember the last time my kids said "thank you for teaching me that valuable lesson mom". I was more likely to be told I was the worst mom ever. Take a course, volunteer, pursue a talent. Seek that "pat on the back". It's not only our kids who need it.

Find support.

We all need a cheering squad from time to time. Talk to your friends, involve your family, and get in touch with old colleagues. The more you talk about what you want or what you hope to find, the more confident you become in expressing yourself about your goals and your abilities. Not only can this open doors to opportunity it prepares you for speaking about yourself during interviews.

Finally, let "No" empower you.

Any action that moves you closer to your goal is progress. An application that is rejected is better than no application being made. If you are not taking opportunities to apply because you don't feel qualified, you DEFINITELY won't get the job. In addition, the more practice we have the better we get. Follow up, thank them for consideration and find out what the employer was looking for. The more information you have, the more skilled you become at finding a job.

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